porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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