He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
