hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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