Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
