thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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