you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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