just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
