I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
