so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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