Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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