It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
