All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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