idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
