You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
