My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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