But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
