I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Randomize
