What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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