even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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