Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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