the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
