I could have mohawked her pubes.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
