Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
