i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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