If i come over, it means nothing
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Randomize
