Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
