you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
