Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
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