My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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