The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Randomize
