How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
