is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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