I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
