Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
