SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
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