I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
