it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
my poor anus
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
