Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
