Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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