I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
