No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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