At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
