You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
