I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
