this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
My vagina just recognized that song.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
