So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
