why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
