Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
