I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
