i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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