Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
