This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Randomize
